Something Old, Something New Confession

With marriage comes change, even when two people have been together for nearly seven years, and have already gotten used to cohabitation. I am starting to see the minor changes between my old "single" life and my new married one. For one, I have moved my cell phone from my family plan (that I've been on since 2002) to Kyle's plan. With that change came my first new phone in five years, and it is a smart one! That's right, I finally joined the 21st century, I can finally walk around with my eyes peeled to the screen, and I can finally find my way to a new location when I've forgotten to look it up on Google maps before leaving. (Kyle will appreciate that I no longer call him for directions).

Having a new phone, I can already see the metaphorical changes marriage will bring. For one, like the fingerprints that cover my touch screen, being married isn't going to always be neat and clean. I will have to let go of some of the particularities that currently annoy me, and although I've already had to learn that clothing on the floor does not equal death, I still work daily to focus on the bigger issues and not let the details distract me.

Second, I realize that codependency in marriage is probably ok. I am completely inept at using a smart phone. I will need to rely on Kyle to help me download and install new applications, and navigate the system. I will need to rely on him to help sort through future conflicts that we encounter together, like parenting. I hope that he is just more efficient in those future situations that he currently is now (it took nearly 6 months to decide on which phones to upgrade to).

I also see that having a smart phone may eliminate any excuses to not be informed and not stay in touch. Not that I am against knowledge or communication, I just have a preference for in-person contact and I tend to avoid controversy by staying uniformed (ignorance is bliss) when it comes to anything from gossip to politics. Maybe this phone will actually inspire me to call friends, to read more informative texts, and to embrace the technology, like I will have to embrace all the other changes in my near future.

Goodbye to my loyal Samsung slider and hello to my Droid Razr Max. This change is all Kyle's influence.

Something Old, Something New

Friday's Confession: When you have a bad day

Exactly what I needed to hear on a day like today. 

And exactly why weddings are so special!

Originally posted on Wedding Chicks under "Friday's Chalk Board".

Confession: Groom Frustrations!

If I weren't so excited to get our wedding over with, I'd probably kill my groom some days. Ironically, one of the reasons I am marrying him is his spontaneity, and how it complements my tendency to over-plan. Yet, something just screams "get this wedding planning over with already" and I cannot even seem to schedule in time for sitting down to do some wedding planning with him. I am not talking about wedding planning that includes finding vendors and sending checks. I am talking about wedding planning that involves thinking about our relationship and how we can capture that during our special day. These details are what will make our ceremony and reception memorable, unique, and exciting! However, I feel lately like they are all my details, my ideas, and my view of our relationship, and that I don't have any input from Kyle. My biggest fear is that we'll arrive at our wedding and he'll feel a complete disappointment in how it turned out. But then again, who else will he have to blame but himself. I don't think he is avoiding planning because he is tentative about the wedding itself, but instead I think he is just being a guy here (I hope I am right, please reassure me!) and procrastinating the emotional conversations that may ensue.

AND HE STILL HASN'T OFFICIALLY TOLD HIS GROOMSMEN!

Ah men, can't live with them or without them, but in the case of a wedding, I have to figure out a way to bribe him to stop procrastinating (worse than I do) and get this show rolling. I really don't want to spend my summer trying to catch up!

This is my frustrated face...

Confession: I'd rather be Pinteresting

This week's confession encompasses 2 things: 1. I've spent way too many hours lately browsing through Pinterest to not only plan and organize my wedding, but also just to shop. 2. I've decided that I am not contributing enough of my own unique ideas to Pinterest, because let's face it, I'm not as interesting as those other pinners!

I'd love to say that I am crafty, I'll go out and buy the supplies for the projects I see on Pinterest and complete them, but the reality is that as artistically creative as I may be, I do not have the given time to complete the tasks. I also would love to have enough kitchen supplies and ingredients to cook the recipes I pin, but the thought of buying a new bread pan and updating my spice rack seems overwhelming.

Other than time, I feel like I just want the people on Pinterest to start their own Etsy sites so THEY can make the crafts, cookies, and do-it-yourself laundry detergent and I'll just BUY it from them. So, to my pinners out there (and lately I've chosen to follow way more), please start selling these banners, hair flowers, greeting cards, and pies at our local farmer's market so I can get my hands on some.

And then I'll just take the credit when people ask "Did you see that on Pinterest?!"

Copyright Pinterest, I am sure... but hey, it is free advertising!

Confession: I am a bad bride

Lately, I have had to face the realization that I am not a very good bride. I am not a Bridezilla, so don't take it that way, I am the opposite, I don't have enough opinions or enough "vision" in my mind to insist upon perfection.

For example, although my sisters found a fabulous bridesmaid dress that they both liked on the first day we shopped, I waited until recently to give the go-ahead for the dress. Then I have procrastinated sending out the information for ordering to all my other bridesmaids. I feel like such a slacker!

I tried to dissect this issue. I believe part of my problem is the fact that I'm afraid to disappoint my girls with my choice. Since day one, I've been worried about making everyone else at the wedding happy (as you've seen in previous posts). I also just think that I gave myself a LOT of time between the engagement and the wedding, so I am not working well without the pressure (once an AP kid, always an AP kid!)

But anyway, I hope that this is just paranoia and that I really am not falling behind in my planning, nor do I have as much to do as I fear (lurking behind every corner, more wedding must-haves that I missed).

Here's a teaser for you:

Which one

did I

choose????

 

 

 

 

 Dresses from Pinterest collection- Da Vinci, Impressions, Dessy, and the Perfect Palette blog

Valentine's Day Confession

With the upcoming holiday growing ever so near, I feel like I need to recap my Valentine's Day history to fully explain why it is that I don't fully support this holiday. I am not a cynic, but I am also not going to give into consumerism. (Maybe on Christmas, but not in the middle of February!) However, the real reason to dislike V-day is the pressure it places on us to make the day go well, when really it most likely won't. Here are a few examples:

Valentine's Day 1987- Kindergarten exchange day- we all had boxes in the floor in a circle. As we were walking around the circle to deliver the valentines, clumsy me trips over a box of one student (I think I was pushed, actually), and sprains an ankle.

Valentine's Day 1992- 5th Grade and my teacher let my boyfriend at the time sit next to me for the exchange. We exchanged extra special valentines that year, king-sized candy bars (and small ones for everyone else). I realize that Valentine's Day could make me fat.

Valentine's Day 1996- My lovely high school boyfriend at the time gave me heart-shaped cubic zirconia earrings in a hand-made plastic and yarn heart box. Shortly afterwards we broke up. Hence forth, I hated heart-shaped jewelry.

Valentine's Day 1997- My new high school boyfriend orders a limo to take us to an Italian restaurant, invites a buddy and his girlfriend along for the ride, and then takes me to Titanic (which we had already seen)and I spend the evening in tears leading to convulsions. Upon dropping us off at home after the movie, the limo gets stuck in the ditch at the bottom of the driveway. Epic fail.

Valentine's Day The College Years- Numerous "single's awareness day" celebrations. One nice trip to the mountains, which was promptly followed by another breakup.

Valentine's Day 2007- I bought Kyle a 6 pack of Guiness and made a trail of Hershey kisses through the house to his office, where I left a Valentine that consisted of a picture of Final Fantasy. I told him to enjoy the evening without me and to have a night doing the things he really enjoyed, beer and video games. We still have the Hershey kisses in the freezer.

Other than those memorable years, Valentine's Day has been largely forgettable.

A Non-Valentine's Weekend Celebration- Westin Kierland May 2011

P.S. If you are one of those former boyfriends, sorry! And if you are Kyle, no pressure, really. Let's celebrate when the roses are cheaper, the restaurants emptier, and the love less commercialized.

Confession: I watched more wedding-themed shows in college than I do now...

I was one of those girls who always wanted to dress up and have fake weddings as a kid. I used to make my Barbies marry each other practically daily. I'd dress up all the Barbies and Kens in different "fancy" outfits and pretty much my entire collection was married to someone else.

Then in college, when I had ample free time in the afternoons, I got hooked on TLC's A Wedding Story. (This show, sadly, does not seem to exist anymore as I've searched in TIVO many a time.) I saw some of the weirdest theme-weddings ever, some really good stories, some really homely couples, and just about every trend available in the mid 90s to early 2000s. If nothing else, these shows gave me inspiration to not completely give up on my childhood dream of having a wedding. But they also gave a false perception of the reality of wedding planning. This is exactly why I had to blog, so that the other young women hooked on the latest and greatest wedding show trends (Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezillas, and Four Weddings) know that those "reality" shows don't provide the complete picture for you.

For instance, I am pretty sure that because my mom and younger sisters watched Say Yes to the Dress a few too many times in my dad's presence that he was a little more than freaked out about the prospect of buying an overpriced gown that I'd wear once. Took care of that, bought my own dress. I also think that the idea of attending a total stranger's wedding (or for that matter, inviting total strangers to your wedding) to simply judge them for a chance at a free honeymoon seems a bit ludicrous. It is bad enough that we brides already have all this pressure for a "perfect" wedding day, much less knowing that someone is rating your every move.

I won't deny taking a self-indulgent moment here and there to watch a cheesy wedding chick-flick, and yes, I have watched wedding-themed shows occasionally, but the romantic notion that most of these shows portray is for our younger and more idealistic views of marriage. In MY reality, THIS is what you get--a blog, embarrassing anecdotes, and raw emotions. You're welcome ;)

Say Yes to Which Dress?!

Confession: Wedding Videos

I watch total strangers' wedding videos and cry my eyes out when no one else is looking. Hopefully, this exercise in self torture will purge me of all the tears I will try to avoid on my wedding day. I'm paying for that makeup, after all! I found this beaut just this week: Peak Impact Productions

To a tear-free weekend!!

www.mobiletoones.com

Confession: All I Want for Christmas

I must confess, I am having a hard time enjoying Christmas when the much more-anticipated wedding is getting nearer and nearer each day. Every year, people look forward to the spirit of the holidays and the time with family, gift giving, and of course food. Well, I'll see you one Christmas and raise you one Wedding!!

Why weddings are more fun than Christmas (not that anyone out there will argue):
1. The cake. I love Christmas cookies as much as the next person, but cake wins, hands down.
2. DANCING. Christmas dancing is really reserved for New Year's Eve, not Christmas.
3. Dresses. It is much too cold in Minnesota to dress up on Christmas and be comfortable, so until I spend Christmas in Phoenix (which can also be freezing in December,) I give one more point to Weddings.
4. More friends and family. I don't know about you, but we are lucky that my immediate family can be together for Christmas. Weddings are filled with all the people you love, not just a select few.
5. Christmas may mean happiness and joy for a month or two, but my wedding will mean a lifetime of happiness and joy. (I know, I am so cheesy now that I'm a bride to be).

On that note, all I really wanted for Christmas this year was a wedding, and I am getting exactly what I want.

Christmas 2010 in Minnesota!

Confession: I'm not as amateur as I claim to be

I must confess, I have done this before.

By "done this" I mean worked on planning weddings. But not for myself, well, ok maybe for myself, in the guise of working on other friends' weddings, attending other friends' weddings, and everyone else's blogs and stories. I feel like a seasoned researcher, having attended about 20 weddings together with Kyle over the past six years of our relationship. I have seen it all, from the behind the scenes of getting ready with my bride friends, to the gamut of ceremonies lasting anywhere between 10 minutes and an hour, and watching from afar at weddings where we only knew the bride and groom. I have tasted nearly every cake flavor available (my favorite to this day is still Will and Brittany Heerman's chocolate Grand Marnier). I have seen every style of dress (this one's favorite goes to Lisa Houston's) and I have danced it up to live bands and DJs.

So, claiming to be a true "amateur" throughout the planning process is really a misnomer. I am by no means amateur when it comes to the details, the things the guests can see and experience. I am certainly, however, still an amateur when it comes to knowing when to plan our wedding details, and how to manage the time between working and planning. If I had all the time in the world, I am not sure I'd find the time to do everything that is in my head and make it reality.

But I'll continue to call myself amateur for the sake of this blog! By the time I'm through, none of you will be amateurs officially, either. :)

Some of my recent research:

From Jared and Beverly Ross's Wedding

The Never-ending Guest List

Disclaimer: Even if you or the group you are involved with seems to be alluded to in this post, it is not you, per say, but the concept that I am discussing. Do not take this personally.

Ok brides, I need some advice.

What in the world do you do to corral your never-ending guest list?!

When we first met with vendors, we quoted "about 100" as our tally of guests. We figured we really didn't have that big of families, we are having a destination wedding, and let's face it, we're really not that popular.

But now, it is getting out of control. Problem #1- Everyone we know has children. Problem #2- We know everyone. Problem #3- We can't say no to a Friday night dinner date (or 2, or 4, on the same night). Problem #4- We've attended nearly 20 weddings together already. That is 20 couples to invite. Problem #5- Colorado is freaking beautiful.

We are party people, the more the merrier, right?

Or am I wrong. Totally, utterly, wrong. I am truthfully considering inviting ONLY family at this point.
(But let's face it, that wedding would seriously lack some Jack Daniels shots and inappropriate dance moves).

So, now we are in a conundrum. We truly love all our friends and family and want to share our day, a day we've been waiting for over 6 years now, with everyone we love. I am somewhat ashamed to admit that the list is nearing 200 if you count all the children. The main issue with this is the budget, being blown out of the water with an extra 50 or so unanticipated guests. A second problem is the size of our venue. Seating for 98 at the ceremony site might just lead to some uncomfortable and unhappy guests.

In truth, I have a feeling all will work out in the end, and I hope that this issue is resolved like the other snafus we've hit, like practically breaking up for good after I was still sans ring when the 6-year landmark hit. :) But at this point, I am open to suggestions. I am also offering this word of advice: for future brides- try to come up with a guest list before choosing a venue or getting quotes from vendors.

Whatever shall we do? In a quagmire.

Confession: Black Friday Edition

I have a Thanksgiving and Black Friday confession. I hate to admit it, but this time of year just makes this issue blatantly obvious. As I looked around the spread of the 2 Thanksgiving meals we attended, I could no longer, in good faith, deny this truth.

Confession #3:
I do not own a Crock Pot.

There, it's done. I've let it be known! Go on, judge me as you will. You people and your slow-cooker recipes. Your planning and preparation in the morning hours, loading up the pot with the ingredients needed for dinner in a mere 12 hours. Your superior cooking and ability to go to work while dinner is being prepared by the robotic function of the Crock Pot. I know, I am a lone holdout. I can no longer live with shame, but must face the truth.

And how might this relate to Black Friday, you ask? Well, the deals of course. Crock Pots here, there, everywhere on sale. And do I go out to purchase said Crock Pot? No, I do not. I am holding out for the time honored tradition of registering for my wedding, and on that registry will be Crock Pots of various sizes. I could not imagine missing out on the experience of getting not 2, not even 3, but potentially 4 Crock Pots on my wedding day! Of course, some of those would be the exact same Crock Pot, but due to Target's lack of efficiency in checking off the registry items, I know I will be blessed with various duplicates, which I will then get the opportunity to return in exchange for toilet paper or cleaning supplies. How could I deny myself this experience, which has been shared by brides near and far throughout all of time?

I am holding out, and by next Thanksgiving I'll have that Crock Pot, in silver, with automatic shutoff, and digital temperature control, and I will finally be able to bring that dish over to our friends' houses with pride to join in the great circle of moms and dads who have perfected their Crock Pot expertise.

www.amazon.com

Friday's Confession- Literary Inspiration

This week I have been hanging out with English peeps at the National Council for Teachers of English conference in Chicago, IL (yes, where I got engaged this past June!- this time without Kyle, unfortunately). Overheard the other day: "Oh my gosh, Nicholas Sparks is going to be here! That is AH-MAY-ZING!" An adult said this. An adult who teaches LITERATURE. An adult that should have in her repertoire much more complex and intriguing, not to mention realistic, love stories. Austen? Bronte? Hell, Shakespeare. I am more than supportive of a variety of literary texts that are out there about the nature of love, which need to exist to support any number of readers and different reading abilities and preferences. But I expected more of you, English-Teacher-who-cares-enough-about-English-to-go-to-a-national-conference-about-it. And thus, my Friday confession this week brings out the literary snob in me:
CONFESSION #2:
I love a love story, but only when it is a tried and true classic love story, and I don't like sappy romance of the modern popular fiction genre.

The thing that irks me beyond all else about this topic is when people deem Romeo and Juliet "the greatest love story of all time." It is a LUST story. It is about suicide, about death, about loss and tragedy of friendship. NOT LOVE (Taylor Swift). Nice allusion, if you would have gotten it correct.

So as I think about my wedding, I hope that I can produce a fabulous, tried and true, authentic love story to continue to share with all of you, my loyal readers, and prove to you that you don't need the shallow or sappy "happy endings" of the contemporary literary world to find out what love is really all about.

This blog isn't titled "confessions" for nothing!

My newest adventure begins this moment, with weekly Friday confessions from this bride-to-be! Inspired by my blog's title, my friend's recent Facebook post about keeping it real regarding motherhood, and my inner id, I am going to take each weekend to let it all out. Hopefully I'll gain some piece of mind, and cause some laughter.

Confession #1: I worship LMFAO.
I figured that I might as well get that one out of the way. I know that no one in their thirties should enjoy the "Party Rock Anthem" as much as I do (and not because of the dancing hamsters, I never even saw that commercial until well after my obsession began), but I just want to DANCE every time I hear the pounding beats and electronic riffs. "I'm Sexy and I Know It"currently pumps me up at every Zumba class. I have their last CD uploaded on my iPod so that I am motivated to run just a little faster. Truthfully, when Shots comes on, I go right back to college, imagine myself in the frat house again, and take a moment to be 21 instead of 31. Now, I'm not about to go by some animal print pants and neon tanks, but I am going to turn up the music and rock out, and plan to include them at the top of my playlist for the wedding!

From LMFAO Facebook Page