I'll Make a Good Wifey After All!!

Although I by no means consider "The Knot" the primary authority on weddings, I am fascinated by their "to do" list and e-mailed reminders to keep their registered brides on track. It does feel a bit reassuring that I won't be forgetting something major, especially considering my previous post and how busy this next year will be.

But "The Knot" forgot a few items on their "to do" list.
1. Start getting into shape for your wedding.
2. Start practicing being a good wifey.

The first has not been mentioned anywhere in all the literature I've read containing "to do" lists. Not everyone needs to get into wedding shape, some are just naturally in shape all the time, and not everyone CARES to get into wedding shape. But what more perfect excuse or motivation could there be? Well, for me, I was frankly better at that whole getting into shape thing before I was engaged. Since then, maybe it is the sense of knowing that I am secured for life with my future husband, but I cannot get my bootie into the gym as often as I used to. The good news,  I am still going AND I am maintaining my weight so far, despite the parties and celebrations.

This brings me to point 2: being a good wifey. For me, this includes domestic activities that thus far have been much neglected in our humble home. SO, as a compensation for not getting into the gym as often, I started to make more dinners at home so we'd diminish our caloric intake due to eating out so often. This is a new realm for me, cooking. I am an expert at opening boxes or bags, using the microwave, constructing sandwiches, and pancakes. So, as cliche and old-fashioned as it all feels (hence the word "wifey"), I am really trying to set some good habits before we introduce children into the equation. I also find that baking is soothing and therapeutic, so why not switch up the ingredients and include baking meals and not just desserts? And no, not just the meals that are frozen and only require reheating.

Well, the first array into this new hobby (at least since our engagement) was a complete success! And it also gave me a boost in confidence that I will be a good wife, a good mom, and perhaps I just may fit into my dream dress!

Erica's Baked Mostacolli

Ingredients: 2 lbs ground beef (extra lean)

                  1 small onion (white) and 1 red pepper- chopped

                  Fresh Garlic- minced (to taste)

                  Ragu Original Spaghetti Sauce (I am not a miracle worker!)-4 cups

                  Bertolli Penne Plus Pasta (extra protein snuck in!)- 14.5 oz box

                  Light shredded Mozarella Cheese

                  Italian blend of cheese (Parmesan, Provolone...) shredded

                  1 cup of water

Brown hamburger in a skillet, use a little olive oil spray to prevent sticking, and add in onion and red pepper, cook about 8 minutes. Drain excess liquid.

Add 1 cup water and 4 cups spaghetti sauce into the skillet and bring to a boil. Then reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, cook the past according to directions, about 11 minutes, and drain. Mix the pasta with the sauce. Then pour half of the pasta and sauce into a 13'x9'x2' glass pan, sprinkle with the desired amount of shredded cheeses (both blends), and then cover with another layer of the sauce and pasta, and sprinkle more cheese on top. Bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes or until cheese on top is slightly brown and melty. Serve with favorite wine and make fiance do all dishes.

-Adopted from Cooks.com recipe

My first baking/cooking masterpiece

                 

Conflicting Interests

How am I supposed to plan a wedding when all this darn work gets in the way?!

On the other hand, how am I supposed to get all this work done with the wedding planning temptations constantly surrounding me?!

I know that this is not nearly as big a dilemma as a working mom goes through, but it is the first year I've been working where I've wanted to prioritize my personal life over my work. For many jobs, this may be manageable, but as a teacher of AP and honors kids, I find that I am constantly torn between needing to keep my promises to my students while trying to give myself the time I need for things that matter most to me. Not that work does not matter, work matters a heck of a lot, I love my job and I love being the responsible, dependable teacher that keeps the students interested in school. To really get buy-in, I feel like kids need to see my constant enthusiasm and my unending dedication as an example. But I have my limits, and I feel like my wedding planning is being put on a back burner, which may in turn lead to me losing out on something or someone I'd prefer as a vendor at the wedding.

So something has got to give. I am working on a compromise where I am productive in both areas, but it may mean that I sacrifice complete control in both my classroom and my wedding. I have a lot of supporters and helpers out there to help me get through the roughest patches, and I know that in the end, the kids will understand if I give them their essays back a day or two later.

The dilemma comes to a head as I look over at the 400 ungraded essays I have sitting next to me that I put off to blog about my wedding.

Oh well.

My Holy-Crap-We-Set-a-Date Post

HOLY CRAP--WE SET A DATE.

Now I feel like I really have to start working on planning this whole wedding thing. I mean, my official "The Knot" wedding webpage tells me that I have a checklist of something like 150 things to do in the next 401 days, 5 hours, 2 minutes (precisely how long until our big day arrives, thank you The Knot).

September 29, 2012.

9/29. Should be easy enough to remember our anniversary. Not to mention it is only 2 days after my mother's birthday and 1 day after my brother-in-law's birthday. In this family, we like to keep things simple like that. (My birthday is the day before my father-in-law's, Kyle's is the day before his mom's). 9/29 will soon be the most significant day in our lives besides our own births and births of our future children.

The date is perfect. Want to know why? Because Fate itself picked it out for us. That's right, Fate. I wanted a fall wedding for as long as I can remember. Narrowed it down to September with the anticipation that we could Honeymoon over my fall break from school. Chose September 29, the first Saturday of my fall break, hoping for fall color and a 2-week vacation to recover from the wedding. And then, when touring the venue I am in love with, we asked to see the calendar of availability, and that is when Fate said "You must marry on September 29, 2012", because it was the ONLY SATURDAY LEFT NEXT FALL FOR OUR VENUE!

And that is how Fate helped us pick our wedding date. And venue.

So, Fate, now it is time for you to pick my wedding dress out for me. And then find me a good photographer. I don't have time to second guess myself, so I need you to be more involved in this process to make sure it goes smoothly from this point on.

We set a date. :)

Our Celebratory Tour of Venues

The Fateful Day we Chose the Date!

The Importance of "We" Time

If nothing else during this engagement, I have learned to appreciate the time that I get to spend with Kyle when we aren't under the stress of work, chores, or even wedding planning. Our weekends away, which are quite frequent as has been the case throughout our relationship, are often the refreshing escape we need to be reminded of the bigger reasons we are together. I recommend that all couples going through the planning stages of a wedding, or even a child or buying a house, get away from it all to relax a bit and remain sane.

This makes me think back on some of my favorite travels with Kyle. Whether it was to Europe in the summer of 2009 to party in Pamplona during San Fermin (and running with the bulls), or paragliding off the Swiss Alps outside Interlaken, or closer to home in the Yosemite Valley watching the rock climbers on the face of El Capitan, and wine tasting in Sonoma, CA, I cherish our time away. It is these trips that not only help us expand our knowledge of the world, but also bring us back to the roots of our relationship- our mutual love of people, of nature, and of each other.

Recently, although on a scale not as grand as Europe, we got away a few times. The woods are quite relaxing, calming, and with our crazy friends, often extremely fun. Call me Emerson, but living in nature just brings about clarity of mind.

Teva Mountain Games- Vail, CO

Water Wheel Trail and Waterfall- Payson, AZ

Bear Canyon Lake, Rim Lakes, AZ

Wedding Location Cold Feet

So maybe literally getting married in Colorado will make all my guests, wedding party and family freeze their tootsies off. But what I am talking about here is the issue of second guessing myself over what I originally thought was the PERFECT plan for my wedding. And this post is for Kyle who says I am just going crazy right now and that I should just blog about it to feel better.

I will admit, getting married on the mountainside in Colorado may be a little self-indulgent. Besides going to summer camp in the mountains for 5 summers, attending Colorado College for 4 years, and traveling back and forth from the Rockies a minimum of 4 times a year (average for the past 7 years), what tie to I have to Colorado besides just being in love with the mountains?!

Darn you, Kyle, now that I write it, yes, I sound ridiculous.

I think that it is a very common issue that brides have, second guessing themselves when trying to set the details for the MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE (for now). I am finding myself completely caught up on the details of what my friends, family, and other guests of diverse backgrounds, economic situations, and interests would want at my wedding. I don't want to let anyone down, after all they have been waiting for 6 years for this to happen, and above all I want to make sure I am not let down on the day because I made a decision that prevented others from being there, having fun, or enjoying the day as much I enjoyed all their weddings. Above everyone else, I am worried that I cannot please my parents with my decisions.

Most of this anxiety is coming from, what Kyle calls, other peoples' "helpful advice" about what I should be doing. Like my previous post, the wedding magazines give so many contradictory options that I find myself spinning in circles. Like the mags, the event planners, caterers, venues, family, and friends all have something they want to suggest for my wedding. I love that they seem to care about helping make my day perfect, but what it starts to feel like is that I won't ever please anyone.

After another weekend away in the woods, and with a trip to Colorado coming up in just 4 short days, I feel like I am a little calmer and not as worried about my decision to get married in the mountains. But I still think that I will feel like I am letting everyone else down at times during this process, and that I cannot possibly be the only bride who feels this anxiety while planning. I'll just have to keep blogging about it so I can let that anxiety go a little bit at a time, and hopefully I will eventually get rid of it and replace it with the pure excitement of getting married to the man I love.

Barrage of Bridal Magazines

My friend Bev just got married in May, and before Kyle and I were even engaged she had gifted me with the leftover magazines to browse through to get ideas. I kept them in the trunk of my car until we actually got engaged so that I didn't jinx myself by getting too excited for a wedding that was still very far off. When I told people I was engaged, they encouraged me to get some magazines and enjoy "shopping" for all the details.

Alright ladies, here is the reality. I have the magazines. I successfully read 2 cover to cover. I browsed through a half dozen more, just looking at pictures. I spent $30 buying a Do It Yourself wedding guide and a guide to venues in Colorado. And now, they sit, on the floor of the living room, waiting for a scorpion to make them home, and collecting dust, next to Kyle's acoustic and untouched guitar and our old Playstation 2.

The REALITY is that I can'[t afford a single thing in them! The REALITY is that they ALL say the same thing. The REALITY is that I am overwhelmed trying to get ideas from contradicting voices of various "experts" who for some reason still believe that average, everyday brides register for Bone China. I just want some golf balls and a slow cooker!

So, I must admit to being disappointed in my bridal magazine exploration. Maybe when I finally have some more free time I'll be excited to look through them some more and actually make a wedding binder, but with Pinterest, the online shopping is just so much more convenient.

A tour of some venues

My amazing fiance sent me to Colorado shortly after our engagement to get a start on finding the perfect mountain venue that not only encompasses the Colorado atmosphere, but also has some indoor and outdoor elements and some fall color possibilities.

Come along with me...

From Paragon Lodging, Breckenridge, V3 Lodge

The brand new Frisco Day Lodge

The Wedding Deck at The Lodge and Spa, Breckenridge

Silverthorne Pavilion

Dillon Marina Park Veranda

Sapphire Point, Dillon

My First Love- Donovan Pavilion, Vail

How could YOU choose between these beautiful locations? Even more to come, I am sure, on the next trip.

Is Franc available?

I did not know if I was going to want to use a wedding planner, or if it was in the budget, but I decided to go for it anyway and schedule some consultations so I could get a better idea of my options. As I have been dreaming of a destination mountain wedding, I knew that I might have to work really hard to find all the small details a wedding entails from a distance.  The night before I met the planner, I was more nervous than the night before a new school year begins.Would she be honest with me about the costs? Would she like my ideas or try to convince me to do my wedding her way? Would I get suckered into a contract before I even knew if I would need help?

The first planner I contacted suggested a meeting at my favorite bakery, Blue Moon, and I thought that must be some sort of a sign. When I got there, we found out that the bakery lacked internet access, so we had to transfer to a new location anyway so we could look some things up online to schedule some venue tours. But she was very genuine, seemed to be knowledgeable about the area, and offered to drive me to locations, in the rain, to let me see first hand what options I had. This by far extended the 30 minute scheduled consultation time frame, but showed me that the spirit of Colorado is what keeps drawing me to the mountains, the fact that the people there just want to make you happy...

After the trip to Colorado, and meeting a few other local planners, I still can't decide if I will be able to handle this all on my own or if I will hire out for some backup the weekend of the wedding. The favorite venue does not come with a representative, so it would be nice to have someone available for set up and take down who isn't a family member or bridesmaid, and therefore I can spend more time with the people who I invite to the wedding and seldom get to see or spend time with.

One Wedding Venue Option- Rentable Private House on the Mountaintop!

 All I know is that this won't be a "Franc" experience, dad... no Father of the Bride wedding swan nightmares for me.

This one's for my coworkers

One of my absolute most anticipated moments after my engagement was getting to return to work to share my news with all my favorite coworkers. Telling friends and family was fun, don’t get me wrong, but telling the people that I spend more time with than my fiancé, who are really a second family to me, was destined to be a big moment.

Part of the reason for my excitement is that Kyle is practically an honorary faculty member. He is so supportive of my involvement in the school and in the students’ lives that he attends many of the school events with me, from plays and dance concerts, to staying up all night at Relay for Life with the National Honor Society team. He even got an award as “Honorary Advisor” last Spring from our NHS officers. I actually sometimes feel like the people at work are more excited to see him than me, and when he helped me set up my classroom this year and one of our security guards noted “She really does make you go everywhere”, I knew that my instincts may be correct. So, I was sure that my coworkers were waiting in as much anticipation as I was for the big moment to actually occur.

Until my principal forgot to share the news.

So, I must backtrack and thank my principal Ken for his foresight and kindness in sending me off to Chicago with a single hotel room, which allowed room for Kyle to come along with me.  Without this trip, who knows when the engagement would have finally happened. At our first faculty meeting in July, I thought Ken was planning to share the news (and perhaps his traditional $20 bill).  It was actually funny, because he noted that he learned about “change of status” on Facebook, so I assumed he was going to announce the news of my engagement, but he was not even talking about me, rather a long-time single coworker who had changed his status to “in a relationship”. Realizing that he forgot later on, he did make the announcement during breakout sessions, and I got a barrage of congratulatory remarks.

The real excitement, though, is having the support of my coworkers along this journey. I feel like I have seen so many of them go through major life changes, like children and marriage, and I trust them and look to them as role models for my own major life change.  Beyond our working relationships, I value their wisdom, and I value their friendship. Happy hours help us relax after being on our best behavior around the students. Lunchtime debates get us excited about educational and social issues. Laughter follows us everywhere we go. It only seems appropriate that coworkers shared my engagement, and will continue to share in my planning experiences as well as all that will follow in our marriage. I am grateful for having such an amazing job that I just may love as much as I love Kyle. Even if Ken thinks that my engagement means that he will see less and less of me around school.

Kyle chaperoning his 5th prom with me

Some of my lovely coworkers, supportive and beautiful!