Oh no, I'm not finished, even though I'm officially a Mrs.!.

Well, the wedding may be officially over, but the blogging MUST GO ON!!!!

I still have so many great details that I kept quiet to surprise our guests. I want to share some pictures of the final preparations, the aftermath, and of course, the party itself!!

Leading up to the wedding 3 weeks ago, I know I had the intention to blog away my stress, but the stress won the battle, and I didn't find time to fit in posting between grading, writing sub plans for the days I took off, and finishing the last minute details. Oh, and dealing with those crises that everyone warned me about but I didn't believe in until they happened.

Like, who needs a wedding ring, right??? Apparently Kyle didn't, since his ring was not showing up in the mail. Finally I broke down and called the jeweler, who had assured we'd have the ring in time, only to find out that it wouldn't be SENT until the day of the wedding! WHAT?!?! I may have freaked out, and told the jeweler that we were getting married that weekend, and would need something. He sent out a replacement ring, and this is what arrived the following Friday (1 week before the wedding):

The first fix...

Yea, I know, FRICKIN' BLUE?!?!? What part of "wooden ring" translates into "blue"? So, I again freaked out. This time Kyle was in Vegas for his bachelor party, so I turned to his sister, the ever calm Shannon, to help solve this problem. Then to Karen, the strong-willed and well-practiced negotiator. Thanks to both of them, we got a SECOND replacement ring to use for the ceremony, and for the honeymoon, and still because WE STILL DO NOT HAVE KYLE'S ACTUAL RING.

And, I forgot to mention, the one we ordered may not even fit, because the OTHER jeweler that measured his ring size used a thin band to measure, which turns out to be a different type of measurement than the thick band we ordered.

We await the results...

To wear or not to wear, the ring that is...

Dear Amateur Bride:

I was recently proposed to with a gorgeous (and expensive) engagement ring. When should I be wearing this ring now, and when it is ok to remove it?

Sincerely,

Worried klutzy bride

Dear Worried klutzy bride:

Well, first of all, is your ring insured? You should try to do that as soon as possible, especially since there is a chance your ring might be worth more than your car. Imagine the devastation of losing it down the drain in a public restroom because you rested it on the counter while washing your hands. For starters, I’d try to keep it on your finger in all public restrooms for that reason. Hopefully the ring is a perfect fit and won’t slide off with the soap.

Now, besides being careful of leaving it or dropping it in a public venue, such as a park, beach, crowded bar, or parking lot, there are a couple of other hazards to taking off your ring. You leave yourself vulnerable to the sketchy old man at the grocery store hitting on you in the melon section again without that ring on (it may not stop that man, but it should hopefully deter some of his type). Another hazard is getting interrogated by your fiancé as to why you took it off. To combat, wear the ring as often as possible when in public where men are abundant. The health club, any bar in Scottsdale, and Best Buy are some examples.

On the other hand, there are definitely times when you’ll benefit by taking off the ring. By benefit, I mean save yourself some bizarre scratches and bruises. For one, although wearing it while sleeping seems romantic, if you sleep anything like I do you will find some scratches in the morning. Another dangerous situation would be WHILE doing some types of workouts. Zumba, for one, involves rapid arm and hand movements. Until you are used to having that ring on your hand, watch out for surprising catches. Another time I’ve had an issue with wearing the ring is while doing my hair, because my hair gets caught in it when I run my fingers through. This includes showering. The final situation where taking off your ring is beneficial is when eating extremely messy finger foods. Tacos, chicken salad sandwiches, ribs, S’mores, all foods that will get caught in your ring. 

What it really comes down to is where you’re comfortable NOT wearing the ring or uncomfortable WEARING the ring. In the heat of AZ, it could get stuck on your finger at times. While camping, if you tie it to the drawstring in your shorts, make sure you remember it is there (you know, while eating S’mores). Just a smattering of examples of situations to consider. To safe adornments!

Sincerely,

Amateur Bride

1st hour of engagement survival guide

Here are 11 tips from me and Kyle to help you survive the first hour of your engagement:

1.  Try to get engaged before 1 a.m. so you don’t have to wake up so many people, but if you must get engaged late in the night, make sure that the time difference between where you are at the time and your home is going to help solve this problem.

2. Have your phone nearby so you can immediately pick it up to call someone to tell them the news. It is also helpful because you forget about the number of people you need to tell until you consult your contacts. Don't let that number deter you from getting engaged due to the sheer number of contacts you have... a mass text will work.

3. A mass text is also a great form of communication so that everyone who is "important" is also "the first to know". You won't leave anyone off, unless they don't have a cell phone with text. And if they don't, why in the world are you friends with them? :)

4. Buy the bar a round of tequila shots after the deed is done, and then take at least 3 of them yourself.

5. Suggest that the bar change the music to romantic, wedding-themed music. But don’t dance to the music, save that for the wedding. You’re too drunk to make it look good, and everyone is looking at you, trust me.

6. Oh, by the way, get engaged at a bar or some other public institution where alcohol is served so that there are many witnesses in case the man freaks out and changes his mind, and it is preferable if someone around you has a camera to document the occasion, the pictures are priceless!

7. When you DO talk to family and friends, tell them as many details about the event as possible, because you will remember nothing (mostly due to the cheap champagne and tequila) and you will appreciate them filling you in later.

8. You’re not going to sleep that night if it is at night, or probably even if it was in the wee hours of the morning, unless you are the man, then you’re work is done here.

9.  Remember to look at something other than the beautiful ring on your finger. Perhaps the man who put it there. He is feeling neglected now.

10. DO NOT go FBO (Facebook Official) until all your relatives and close friends know. Who wants to find out about that on the internet? Besides, you’ll get TWICE as many wall posts that day as on your birthday, or the entire year combined, so give yourself time to mentally prepare.

11. Oh yea, you just got engaged. Love each other a little! Enjoy this moment. Don’t forget this feeling as you will need it to help you get through the wedding planning that is ahead.

A short engagement play

Continued from previous post…

My good friend from college, and bridesmaid, Kaycee, game me the alias“Nancy Drew” due to my many ditzy moments throughout our college years. I am not a stupid person, but I easily get distracted in my thoughts, so sometimes I don’t catch on to things quickly. The 5 minute-delayed “Aha!” moments earned me the nickname I so love. My engagement was a Nancy Drew moment for me.

We got dressed up  for a night out at Second City for some improv comedy. As we were running a little behind schedule (no surprise) we didn’t have time to eat until after the show. While at dinner at 9:00 p.m., Kyle and my coworker Jill were a little more than usually giddy. Here is how the next hour went:

My internal thoughts: “Hey, Jill and Kyle sure are drunk. It is getting to be a little ridiculous. They can’t even choose what to eat without laughing.”

Kyle: “Hey Jill, wouldn’t you like to order the Shepherd’s Pie” [pointing at the item on menu with my engagement ring on his finger teasingly].

My internal thoughts: “Why does Kyle keep opening the menu up over and over?”

Jill and Kyle: “We HAVE to go try Dugan’s Irish pub tonight because it is our last night in the city.”

Me: “Oh, but I am so very tired and do not need any more to eat or drink.”

Fast forward an hour to the little Irish pub outside our hotel.

Kyle: “I’ll go order drinks, you girls pick a table.”

Jill: “Let’s sit at this table that opens up onto the street.”

My internal thoughts: “So we can stare at Walgreens instead of the crowd? I am only doing this because it is tradition, you know, Kyle!” Side note: Kyle and I find Irish pubs in all cities to talk with the locals and enjoy our favorite beverages.

I go to the bathroom, Kyle is still at bar. I come back and a random man is sitting at our table and there are still no drinks.

Me: “It is time to go, this bar is way too slow at serving the 12 people that are here.”

Kyle: “I know, seriously, they are slow, but I ordered drinks I promise!”

My internal thoughts: “Maybe Kyle is so gone that he thought he ordered drinks, or the bartender took the order but won’t serve my crazy boyfriend and coworker!”

[At this moment the man sitting at our table is brusquely removed by the bartender and taken down the street a ways]. 

My internal thoughts: “I wonder how many times this drunk man has harassed the patrons to the point of being removed from one’s table.”

[The other bartender brings over three glasses of champagne and the bottle. It is Cooks.]

Me: “What the hell is this!? This isn’t cider or Guinness!!”

Kyle: “They were out of Guinness.”

My internal thoughts: “What kind of freaking Irish bar is this and why in the world is my boyfriend ordering a bottle of champagne when he knows I didn’t even want another drink. Oh well, I’ll toast to our last night in Chicago!”

Jill: [Looking at me strangely] “Cheers to Chicago and Ken (our principal)!”

Kyle: [Strangely NOT looking at me] “Giggle.”

The rest of the bar: [Staring at me as I take sips of the champagne and toast my friends].

My internal thoughts: “What the hell is going on here?! Why is everyone giggling and looking at me?! This whole town is f-d up right now, aren’t they!?”

Music changes in the background from hard core rap and hip hop to, what the heck is this, Barry Manilow?! I notice Jill has my camera and is taking photos. Not odd to me, because I am always taking photos, so I smile for the camera as I toast!

Kyle: “Ooh! Read what is written on the glass!”

My internal thoughts: [Reading the etched glass]” How sweet, a free gift from the alcohol distributor.”

Me: “Totts. It isn’t even the same brand as the other cheap champagne we are drinking.”

INSERT “AHA” MOMENT HERE

Me: “What is that?!” [seeing ring on bottom of glass, wondering how I missed it up until this point, laughing slightly with embarrassment].

Kyle: “I don’t know, but if you want it you have to finish your glass first.”

Me: “How am I supposed to chug Cooks?!”

Kyle: “You better if you want me to propose.”

I try to use my finger to get it out at this point, but as we know champagne glasses are tall. I am laughing, crying, champagne is coming out of my nose, and I am trying to ignore the patrons’ stares. Then, the chugging begins.

Kyle: “We’ve been a lot of places and we’ve been in a lot of places. Irish pubs are one of the places we always feel comfortable in wherever we happen to be. I wanted to propose someplace that had special meaning to the both of us.”

Me: “And you chose DUGAN’S?!”

Kyle: “Will you be the one?” [Sliding ring on my finger]

I said no. :)

End note: The actual speech Kyle gave was much more involved. If you’d like to see it, he has a copy of it on his Droid. Yes, he had it written out and pre-approved. And it was 100% Kyle style.

Shopping for a ring

After many years of love, fun, and happiness, it was evident that the time had come to get serious. I went through my ups and downs about feeling like I was wasting my time when I was in such a long relationship without any signs of moving forward. Looking back, the signs were always there, and the extra time it took was worth it! Kyle and I started to really move forward about 6 months before our actual engagement. We first went to some jewelry stores to see what styles we liked, what options are out there, and to reaffirm our decision that we were ready. Some guys do the ring shopping without any input from their girlfriends, but having gone through the selection process with Kyle, I am really touched that I got to give my opinions and that we got to share in the excitement together. 

For some, going through the shopping process may feel like it will ruin the surprise or lessen the impact of the actual engagement. I am here to reassure you brides-to-be that it is ok to ask for what you would like. I simply wanted a classic design that I won’t regret in 20 years. I won the battle of princess cut versus round cut with a round cut center diamond. (Round really has the most sparkle ladies).  When it came down to it, after visiting four stores, we found a local, small jeweler (not a chain) who not only seemed to care about us as a couple (not just customers) but who wanted to create a dream engagement ring for us. He drew up a custom designed ring on the CAD for us (no charge) and helped Kyle through the rest of the process of selecting detail and diamond, this time without my input. You’ll have to wait for the rest of the story…

Our Jeweler