On the 12th of December...

On the 12th of December, my true love gave to me, presents that needed wrapping.

A sign of times to come I am sure, but I am not complaining, as one of the few tasks I enjoy "taking over" as the wife is wrapping gifts for holidays. I know I will go all out and make them fancy, with bows, and add gift tags instead of writing the recipients' names in Sharpie on them. My perfectionist side likes this task.

One thing I've noticed about wedding planning in the midst of the holiday frenzy is that it is really hard to think of gifts you want that you don't want to register for in a few months.

Why don't they have "Christmas Registry"?? I mean, how much easier would our holiday shopping be if we could all just go shopping, use a pricing gun to scan a bunch of stuff we like, and then send that list out to all our friends and family? In our family at least, we kind of already do this with the hopes that the items on our wish lists will be easy to find. It might take some of the excitement out of unwrapping a present, but at least there is no need to wait in the return lines the week after Christmas.

I do wish that I did not have to try to balance my time between work (the end of the semester), Christmas (13 days and counting down), and wedding planning (only 9 months left?!?!). Unfortunately, work usually takes precedence, but this year I've slacked a bit, causing even more "end of the semester" stress. Slacking is maybe too harsh a word because I have successfully bought gifts, wrapped gifts, set up appointments over Christmas break with our wedding vendors, and even decorated the house! That is a lot to accomplish with all the other stuff going on during this time of year. I just need to quit procrastinating doing the real work I have so I can enjoy the holidays, stress-free.

So as the holidays near, I hope that I can keep up with my blog posting so I can be an avenue for all of you to procrastinate, too! :) Or you can spend your time browsing Pinterest for winter wedding themes, like me.

Via Pinterest

The Never-ending Guest List

Disclaimer: Even if you or the group you are involved with seems to be alluded to in this post, it is not you, per say, but the concept that I am discussing. Do not take this personally.

Ok brides, I need some advice.

What in the world do you do to corral your never-ending guest list?!

When we first met with vendors, we quoted "about 100" as our tally of guests. We figured we really didn't have that big of families, we are having a destination wedding, and let's face it, we're really not that popular.

But now, it is getting out of control. Problem #1- Everyone we know has children. Problem #2- We know everyone. Problem #3- We can't say no to a Friday night dinner date (or 2, or 4, on the same night). Problem #4- We've attended nearly 20 weddings together already. That is 20 couples to invite. Problem #5- Colorado is freaking beautiful.

We are party people, the more the merrier, right?

Or am I wrong. Totally, utterly, wrong. I am truthfully considering inviting ONLY family at this point.
(But let's face it, that wedding would seriously lack some Jack Daniels shots and inappropriate dance moves).

So, now we are in a conundrum. We truly love all our friends and family and want to share our day, a day we've been waiting for over 6 years now, with everyone we love. I am somewhat ashamed to admit that the list is nearing 200 if you count all the children. The main issue with this is the budget, being blown out of the water with an extra 50 or so unanticipated guests. A second problem is the size of our venue. Seating for 98 at the ceremony site might just lead to some uncomfortable and unhappy guests.

In truth, I have a feeling all will work out in the end, and I hope that this issue is resolved like the other snafus we've hit, like practically breaking up for good after I was still sans ring when the 6-year landmark hit. :) But at this point, I am open to suggestions. I am also offering this word of advice: for future brides- try to come up with a guest list before choosing a venue or getting quotes from vendors.

Whatever shall we do? In a quagmire.

Dress Decisions

I am starting my new "pattern" of blogging to keep myself from slacking and to be inspired to write on a more regular basis. Every Monday I am hoping to share a personal story of my wedding planning experience. I hope that all friends and family who are active readers will enjoy watching and reading from afar, and that they all feel like a part of the process despite their distance (or busy schedule)!

Today I just went dress shopping at my 4th shop. While in Colorado (don't worry, lots of stories to come), I was fortunate enough to have my sisters and my mom, along with a bridesmaid, to help me while I dress shopped. The maids also got a chance to pick out some frocks. They were more successful than I was, I believe. I hear that it is much harder to pick out a dress 5-6 girls will love than to pick the bride's dress. This is turning out to NOT be my case...

In the interest of being totally honest with my lovely audience (over 2500 hits so far! Thanks guys!), I must admit that playing dress up was an anticlimactic experience for me. I may have worked it up in my own mind a bit too much, hearing from so many other brides (both friends and magazines) that it was "so special" and "you just know when it is 'the dress'", I guess I was hoping for that miraculous "I bought the first one I tried on" moment.

About 30 dresses later, no such moment.

My mom is probably losing it already!

I found dresses I liked, even some I REALLY liked, but didn't have an "I NEED THIS DRESS NOW" experience. Perhaps it is my procrastinating personality that tells me that I am in no hurry that keeps me from feeling the pressure to buy. Maybe it is because I don't want to regret my decision and find a better dress months down the road. As I read horror stories of missing dresses and bankrupt salons, I am finally starting to get a sense of urgency to settle on a dress.

I also wonder if any other brides worried that their husbands would react less than favorably when seeing them in their dresses for the first time. Not that I don't totally trust that Kyle will just love whatever dress I am wearing, but I just know that he has made some comments about my wardrobe choices in the past (and since he has no fashion sense he didn't know what he was talking about...), but I don't want him to reject the fashion just because of his lack of knowledge of the fashion world, thus making my "beautiful" day feel less than.

I wish I could upload pictures to share, but you know, as the superstition goes, no one must see me in the dress (namely Kyle) before the "big reveal" on my wedding day (which is now officially under 50 weeks away!)

Wedding Location Cold Feet

So maybe literally getting married in Colorado will make all my guests, wedding party and family freeze their tootsies off. But what I am talking about here is the issue of second guessing myself over what I originally thought was the PERFECT plan for my wedding. And this post is for Kyle who says I am just going crazy right now and that I should just blog about it to feel better.

I will admit, getting married on the mountainside in Colorado may be a little self-indulgent. Besides going to summer camp in the mountains for 5 summers, attending Colorado College for 4 years, and traveling back and forth from the Rockies a minimum of 4 times a year (average for the past 7 years), what tie to I have to Colorado besides just being in love with the mountains?!

Darn you, Kyle, now that I write it, yes, I sound ridiculous.

I think that it is a very common issue that brides have, second guessing themselves when trying to set the details for the MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE (for now). I am finding myself completely caught up on the details of what my friends, family, and other guests of diverse backgrounds, economic situations, and interests would want at my wedding. I don't want to let anyone down, after all they have been waiting for 6 years for this to happen, and above all I want to make sure I am not let down on the day because I made a decision that prevented others from being there, having fun, or enjoying the day as much I enjoyed all their weddings. Above everyone else, I am worried that I cannot please my parents with my decisions.

Most of this anxiety is coming from, what Kyle calls, other peoples' "helpful advice" about what I should be doing. Like my previous post, the wedding magazines give so many contradictory options that I find myself spinning in circles. Like the mags, the event planners, caterers, venues, family, and friends all have something they want to suggest for my wedding. I love that they seem to care about helping make my day perfect, but what it starts to feel like is that I won't ever please anyone.

After another weekend away in the woods, and with a trip to Colorado coming up in just 4 short days, I feel like I am a little calmer and not as worried about my decision to get married in the mountains. But I still think that I will feel like I am letting everyone else down at times during this process, and that I cannot possibly be the only bride who feels this anxiety while planning. I'll just have to keep blogging about it so I can let that anxiety go a little bit at a time, and hopefully I will eventually get rid of it and replace it with the pure excitement of getting married to the man I love.

Celebrating Part I

When you have been dating for over 6 years, I believe that your family and friends are even MORE impatient than you are when it comes to waiting for the engagement. Therefore, it was no surprise that within hours of landing in Phoenix we had a week of dinner dates and happy hours booked. If you want to boost your self-esteem, get engaged and wait until everyone wants to look at you. (Ok, maybe just your ring, and the pictures of your engagement if you are fortunate enough to have it documented, but you still reap the benefits).  However, contradictory to the wedding “plan” of trying to lose weight, the first week made it nearly impossible to be healthy with the inundation of food and drink. Don’t worry, it dies down.

The coolest part of my first week was that my mom was in town, so  I got to share in the exhaustive celebration with her, and my dad also got to meet me in the airport for a margarita, so my parents were really the first people to see me when I was newly engaged and still beaming. (Don’t get me wrong, I am still smiling, just intermittently between tears and anxiety).

Overall, beginning to think of planning a wedding you've been looking forward to for 6 years, and seriously planning for over a year, is completely overwhelming. Where do you start? Well, my friend Bev who just got married handed me about a year's worth of bridal magazines to start with. But if I open one I get through about 25 pages before that, too, is overwhelming. 

So, needless to say, the beginning of this engagement feels crazy overwhelming, but at the same time I couldn't be more in love and more excited at the prospect of moving on with my life and starting my own family!